Sunday Morning: Would You Like Another Cup of Tea Before the Apocalypse, Dear?

March 4, 2007 – Ti-jean, please pass the newspaper. Let’s see this morning’s headlines.

North Korea has agreed to shut down its nuclear facilities in exchange for fuel oil.

How nice of Kim Jong Il. Of course, North Korea doesn’t exactly have a history of honoring its agreements, having already withdrawn from the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty and other commitments, and will almost certainly threaten to resume processing uranium the next time it needs food or oil. Still, allowing the UN to resume inspections for the time being is a good thing. Let’s see the next headline:

Pakistan tests nuclear capable ballistic warhead.

That’s not good. Pakistan and India have been the Hatfields and the McCoys of South Asia since 1947, and both possess nuclear weapons. Considering that India is the second-most populous country on Earth, it would only take one nuclear capable ballistic warhead for Shiva to have a really bad day.

Muammar al-Qadhafi claims that Libya has not been properly compensated for giving up its nuclear weapons programs.

Postcard to Iran and North Korea: please don’t develop nuclear technology. Don’t be concerned that we didn’t keep our promises to Libya. Hugs and kisses, George W. Bush.

(Pardon me while I digress. Considering that Muammar al-Qadhafi has been Libya’s leader since 1969, you would expect that there would be some agreement on the proper spelling of his name by now. There isn’t. I’ve found seven different spellings. I say Qaddafi, you say Khadafi, let’s call the whole thing off.)

Please turn the page, Ti-jean.

U.S. Selects a New Nuclear Warhead Design

What? There’s a brilliant example of poor timing, announcing a new nuclear warhead design while simultaneously lobbying for UN sanctions against Iran and North Korea for developing nuclear weapons. Worse, didn’t North Korea cite “hostile U.S. policy” as its reason for conducting nuclear tests? What a spectacular moment for the United States to announce that it’s upgrading its arsenal.

Ti-jean, does it strike you as odd that the most enlightened quote is from Muammar al-Qadhafi: "Libya will never go back. I believe that the era of hostility and confrontation is behind us.” It’s a strange world when Muammar al-Qadhafi is the voice of reason.

Hand me the comics, Ti-jean. Care for more tea before the apocalypse, dear?

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