Given the dearth of news today, the staff of Imaginary Grapefruit did the only thing possible under the circumstances—we plundered the cuisneoir, stole all the Dubliner, Tipperary cheddar and Stinking Bishop cheeses, the Pinot Blanc and the Syrah, and headed upstairs to the library.
As we always prefer the obscure and the obsolete, we listened to a vinyl copy of Richard Thompson Starring as Henry the Human Fly—rumored to be the worst selling record in the label’s history—ate the cheeses, drank the wine, roamed through the book shelves and came up with a list of our ten favorite rejected book titles. After finishing the Tipperary cheddar and the Pinot Blanc, we decided to call this “Our Ten Favorite Rejected Book Titles.” What clever swine we are.
So here's our list:
Our Ten Favorite Rejected Book Titles:
10. John Steinbeck: “The Various Fruits And Vegetables Of Wrath”
9. Jack Kerouac: “On The Divan”
8. Hermann Hesse: “SydAndMartha”
7. Oscar Wilde: “The Importance Of Being Lenny”
6. Dashiell Hammett: “The Maltese Budgie”
5. Truman Capote: “Breakfast with Tiffany At The Diner Around The Corner, Halfway Up The Block, The French Toast There Is Fabulous!”
4. Ernest Hemingway: “To Have And Have Not Until The Check From The Insurance Agency Arrives Then To Have Again”
3. Arthur Conan Doyle: “The Hamster Of The Baskervilles”
2. Mark Twain: “Boysenberry Finn”
1. Edgar Allan Poe: “The Fall Of The House Of Usher And The Amish Community That Rebuilt The House Of Usher In An Afternoon”
We recommend the Tipperary cheddar. The Stinking Bishop is hard to get, but we know a guy...
